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Old 07-26-2003, 09:16 PM   #50 (permalink)
obediah
Crazy
 
Hitting your kid is almost always a cop out. One possible exception is to put fear into children too young to reason yet (in the street, grabbing hot pan etc), and the reasoning behind that isn't to punish but to prevent a more severe injury.

Anyway, back to the cop out. For most children, consistent non-corporal punishment is just as corrective, it just takes a bit longer. Hitting is of course a lot easier, than establishing and sticking to other forms of punishment.

One real danger of hitting is that it teaches your child that the way to control other people is to hit them. Adults that were spanked as kids spank their kids, and I imagine are also much more likely to "spank" others - wives, strangers, etc. Back in the "good old days" when fathers laid down the law with children, spousal abuse was a lot more accepted as well.

One big problem I (and many others) have with hitting children is that it has to be about disciplining the child, and not about releasing frustration. When I see a child misbehave, and a parent tell them to stop, and then give them an all-business smack it doesn't really bother me. But when I see a kid and parent having a battle of the wills, and the parent finally lets loose out of frustration, then I can't help but think they have no business having children. It's not about how hard you hit your kid, it's about the expression on your face, the thought in your mind, it's the difference between being a parent and a bully.

Finally, while hitting is a cop out, if controlled it's still much better than nothing. While all those people that turned out "fine" after being spanked as a child, may have turned out even better with more expressive parents, they probably would have turned out much worse without either.
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