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Originally posted by meanSpleen
SPLEEN'S VENGENCE PREDICTIONS
Lesnar vs Angle vs BigShmo
Lesnar will RETAIN the championship with BigShmo F-ing the entire match up, making it entirely unwatchable. See my previous statements about Big Show for reasons why.
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Yup
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Benoit vs Guerrero
Duh, Benoit wins the US title. Obviously.
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Either one of them would make a great champ, but Eddie's more over. He needs to cheat like hell to win the match, or snap after losing to shake his 'tweener' image. I'm picking Eddie, but he wins by cheating, they'll probably fight again at Summerslam.
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VinnieMac vs Gowan
Gowan by disqualification. There is no way that VinnieMac is going to job to Gowan.
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There's no way Gowan's getting a clean win, I'd even be surprised to see a DQ win. I'm picking Vince.
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Taker vs Cena
Cena. Taker is getting old and needs to pass the torch on to someone else. Why Cena? He's done more cheesy promos than any other wrestler in recent memory.
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I hope Cena wins. He's been doing a great job with his gimmick and Taker has nothing to gain from winning this match. Cena wins with the chain.
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McMaHHHon vs Sable
Uhh... Double Count Out. I don't know. Don't really care either. But, McMaHHHon will probaly win if a DoubleCountOut doesn't occur.
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Bathroom break
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Gunn vs Noble
Noble will win, and get to sleep with Tori. Nidia is probably going to chair Noble so he is unconcious, and probably slam Tori as well. They will both be "sleeping" together in the middle of the ring because of this. Mr.Ass will realize that nobody likes him and will retire.
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Billy Ass will win as his consolation prize for not having Vince hand him the US Title (thank god). He should still realize that nobody likes him and retire though
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The Worlds Greatest Benjamin vs Mysterio/Kidman
Benjamin will RETAIN the championship, as Mysterio is impaled on a ringpost. Kidman will find out that he needs some character development and give Mysterio a shooting star press from the buildings rafters down to the ring.
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Kidman has less character now than when he was with the Flock. They lose because they have to set that triple threat match up with Ultimo Dragon somehow.
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The APA Barroom Brawl
Umm... yeah. Have you seen the list of competitors?
Bradshaw, Faarooq, OHaire, Kanyon, Rhyno, ATrain, Brooklyn Brawler, Doink, and Spanky.
Kanyon will be the first one eliminated, by Spanky (penis). Doink will realize that he used to have a career and eliminate ATrain. Rhyno will Gore Faarooq, but will be eliminated by Bradshaw. At this point, everyone realizes that OHaire hasn't done anything, and Doink, Bradshaw, Faarooq, Penis and Brooklyn Brawler will all eliminate OHaire. Bradshaw and Faarooq team up and take out Doink while Spanky is elminated by Brawler.
Bradshaw, Faarooq and the Brawler will all look at each other, laugh, drink a beer and all pass out at the same time.
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Didn't they mention Brother Love too?
Before the match, Steph, or Vince or whoever's in charge announces that this barroom brawl will decide the #1 Contender for the world title. Doink wins it after a whole bunch of difficult-to-follow and annoying to watch table-breaking and bottle smashing.
Doink faces Lesnar next week on Smackdown for the title and wins with the help of his tiny manager 'Dink' (I still remember that guy), the SD Main event at Summerslam is then announced as Doink/Angle for the title in a 60min ironman match.
Pfffttt, the APA'll probably really win it.