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Cute, but mostly made up. Flight attendants would get fired for half of those, particularly after 9/11. Most people are jittery enough as it is when flying, and to hear a flight attendant make flippant comments like that could make them complain to the airline. And firing a flight attendant or losing paying customers in this age of airlines going to shit is not a hard choice for an airline to make. Personally, I don't care, but I don't work in the customer service department of an airline. Any humor a flight attendant IS allowed to use would most likely deal with anything other than the flight itself, for example on a flight from Cincinnati to Norfolk on Delta, the FA said, "Anyone who gets up before the plane finishes taxiing to the gate will help me clean the cabin."
-Mikey
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