...and it's annoying to see people not do searches. Still, the end result is that you welcome all fetishes
except that one. I understand how you got there, but the end result seems to go against the spirit of the community. You get annoyed at hearing the question over and over again. It doesn't make repeating a useless answer useful.
I think you're on the right track by making this a top level notification. I'd just add a redirect in with it, at that top[ level part.
Something like:
"If you must obsess about this, please do it somewhere else. Try
http://www.thundersplace.com/ where hundreds of men have nothing better to do than talk about the size of their wangs."
Now your wet behind the ears noob ends up not bothering you, going somewhere he will get help, and landing at another free forum rather than giving money to spammers or infomercial hounds.