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For me, there's an SM answer and a "sex" answer. I'll leave the SM for another time.
Sexually, the "edge" was about a year ago. He likes anal sex. I enjoy it sometimes if he's gentle. One night I was feeling really frisky and told him that he could have "anything he wanted". We do that sometimes. I like the scary feeling of wondering what he's going to do.
On this particular night, he had me lay face down and "took" me hard. I said "no" and tried to wriggle free. We have a safeword and I didn't use it.
It hurt, but it let it hurt and cried kicking and screaming into the pillow. I didn't enjoy the penetration or the pain, it just hurt... but... I let him do it because I knew he was enjoying his chance to "rape" me.
No, it wasn't rape. I could have stopped him at any time with one word but I didn't. I wanted to give that to him.
He actually came pretty quickly (maybe a minute or so) and as soon as it was over, he held me and cuddled with me. I think I cried for another ten or fifteen minutes as he held me.
He thanked me again and again and said that it was unbelievably good. Since then, he's told me several times that it was one of the best experiences of his life. He says that once was enough and hasn't asked for it a second time.
If he does ask again some day, I would probably let him do it again. There's just something incredibly good about giving something painful to my husband for his pleasure. I can't really describe it.
I guess, that's why I'm asking you all about your experiences. Does anyone else do stuff like that? Do you understand the feeling?
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