Quote:
Originally posted by ratbastid
Let's say on the other hand she's reliving traumatic events every time he goes anywhere near her crotch. Gentle, positive encouragement will get <i>absolutely nowhere</i> and will lead to her feeling absolutely terrible about herself, the relationship, and him. He'll feel like an idiot because nothing is working, he'll be frustrated, start to wonder what's the matter with <i>him</i>, and it'll be downhill from there.
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This is why I hope he'll ask her about her behavior *instead* of making an assumption that it's her sexual past OR her upbringing. COMMUNICATION. (gee, this is a common solution in the Sexuality forum) Even if he does jump the gun, I think it would be less insulting to start with asking about her upbringing. Think about it, if he were to just out of nowhere say, hey were you sexually assaulted in the past... because, damn, you sure act strange. No matter how much icing you put on the cake, it's still implying she's broken/weird/whatever. If he just asks, so I noticed you have very strict preferences as to what we do in bed, is there a reason for this? Leaving it open for her to explain if she wants and how she wants seems more comfortable and what not.
DON'T JUMP TO CONCLUSIONS. COMMUNICATE, ASK HER FIRST.