Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

CheapBastid · 07-21-2003, 11:45 AM

One day in heaven, St. Peter was guarding the gates of heaven where he waited for all the souls to come. There he would look at the book of life and decide whether the soul is going in or not. Well, one day he feels he is tired, he sees Jesus walking by and he calls him.

-Hey Jesus, can you do me a favor?

-Sure what do you want?

-I need to go to the bathroom to take a piss, can you guard the gate for a couple of minutes?

- Sure, I'll be glad to!

So Peter goes "to the bathroom" but ends up getting drunk at a bar and he forgets he has to go back to the gate. Meanwhile, Jesus is waiting for Peter to come back and 15 minutes passes, 30, 2 hours, and so on. But since Jesus is such a benevolent man he patiently waits.

Later Jesus spots an old man walking towards him. The old man gets to the gate and tells Jesus, "Hi, I've been walking towards this place for about an hour. I guess this is heaven, can I come in?"

Jesus doesn't know what he has to do so he tells the old man to wait because he thinks Peter will be back any minute. There they are, staring at each other with nothing to say.

Jesus breaks the ice and asks, "So, tell me a little about yourself."

The old man replies," "Well I was a poor woodworker who lived in a fishing village by the sea. I'm no big deal, but almost everyone has heard of my son. I was so sad when he was gone. I would give anything to see him one more time."

Jesus looks at the man and says "Really, why?"

The old man lights up as he speaks "There never has been nor will there ever be another like him. He always tried to do the right thing, and everyone was amazed by the things that he did. Many books have been written about him and almost everyone in the world knows about him, he loved little kids and always encouraged everyone to do the right thing."

Jesus begins to think and he asks him, "Anything peculiar about him?"

The old man answers "Well, his birth was a unique and magical event, and he had holes in his hands and feet.

With his heart full of joy Jesus looks at the man and says: "Father!"

The old man looks at Jesus with tears in his eyes and says: "PINOCCHIO!!!"

07-21-2003, 11:45 AM	#131 (permalink)
CheapBastid Tilted off balance... Location: the last place you'd look	One day in heaven, St. Peter was guarding the gates of heaven where he waited for all the souls to come. There he would look at the book of life and decide whether the soul is going in or not. Well, one day he feels he is tired, he sees Jesus walking by and he calls him. -Hey Jesus, can you do me a favor? -Sure what do you want? -I need to go to the bathroom to take a piss, can you guard the gate for a couple of minutes? - Sure, I'll be glad to! So Peter goes "to the bathroom" but ends up getting drunk at a bar and he forgets he has to go back to the gate. Meanwhile, Jesus is waiting for Peter to come back and 15 minutes passes, 30, 2 hours, and so on. But since Jesus is such a benevolent man he patiently waits. Later Jesus spots an old man walking towards him. The old man gets to the gate and tells Jesus, "Hi, I've been walking towards this place for about an hour. I guess this is heaven, can I come in?" Jesus doesn't know what he has to do so he tells the old man to wait because he thinks Peter will be back any minute. There they are, staring at each other with nothing to say. Jesus breaks the ice and asks, "So, tell me a little about yourself." The old man replies," "Well I was a poor woodworker who lived in a fishing village by the sea. I'm no big deal, but almost everyone has heard of my son. I was so sad when he was gone. I would give anything to see him one more time." Jesus looks at the man and says "Really, why?" The old man lights up as he speaks "There never has been nor will there ever be another like him. He always tried to do the right thing, and everyone was amazed by the things that he did. Many books have been written about him and almost everyone in the world knows about him, he loved little kids and always encouraged everyone to do the right thing." Jesus begins to think and he asks him, "Anything peculiar about him?" The old man answers "Well, his birth was a unique and magical event, and he had holes in his hands and feet. With his heart full of joy Jesus looks at the man and says: "Father!" The old man looks at Jesus with tears in his eyes and says: "PINOCCHIO!!!"