Quote:
Originally posted by motdakasha
I think you're jumping the gun. Just because a girl is closed up or whatever doesn't indicate sexual abuse/assault. The guy said chances of her having an abusive past are slim to none but her father is strict. I think this is more likely a psychological barrier based on upbringing/beliefs.
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Could be, and I hope so.
Look, here's the thing. Let's say she is just held back by upbringing and beliefs. Gentle, postive encouragement will have her unfold over time and blossom into the full, richly expressed sexual creature that she really is.
Let's say on the other hand she's reliving traumatic events every time he goes anywhere near her crotch. Gentle, positive encouragement will get <i>absolutely nowhere</i> and will lead to her feeling absolutely terrible about herself, the relationship, and him. He'll feel like an idiot because nothing is working, he'll be frustrated, start to wonder what's the matter with <i>him</i>, and it'll be downhill from there.
Now, I sincerely hope it's just a question of how she was raised, I honestly do. But tell me: do you want to take the chance that it's something more, when some straight communication about it could tell you for sure?
Regarding "Is it common?", the answer is YES. WAY more women have some sort of sexual assault in their past than you would think. WAY more. That her odds of that are "slim to none" feels to me like speculation.