From the Star Fleet Programmer's Style Guide:
(1) If your robot is programmed to destroy all imperfection, make sure it excludes itself (the "Nomad" rule).
(2) Never allow calculation of the exact value of pi.
(3) Be sure your machines are programmed to ignore Three Stooges routines (This is known as Harry Mudd's Law).
(4) Self-destruct routines are never carried through, so there is no need to program them as anything more than a cosmetic shell. But be sure the countdown always runs past 1, to the last millisecond before the ship blows up, for dramatic values.
(5) Include standard protections against viruses, Trojans, worms, and the ghosts of 19th-Century serial killers.
(6) Women programmers are not allowed, as they always program the computer to giggle and call the captain, "Honey." We have enough virility problems because they make us wear tights and those silly boots and velour shirts. We don't need this shit, too.
__________________
"We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done."
- Robert S. McNamara
-----------------------------------------
"We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches...
We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles."
- Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message"
-----------------------------------------
never wrestle with a pig.
you both get dirty;
the pig likes it.
|