You've got a job, you seem responsible (you actually checked with your boss first), and your parents are obsessing over hair? The problem is theirs, not yours.
Peetser says it's more important to respect the parent's wishes, especially since you're living with them. But you're not challenging the household routine or the rules of the house, you're not bringing dope or women home. You just want to have a certain hairstyle, and that threatens them. It shouldn't. The problem is that they can't let go of their control of you even though you're an adult; either that, or they're just really fearful people.
I'd say shave it. Just show up one day with it shaved, and let there be a sh*tstorm for a while and then let it blow over. Because they're really overreacting and being overcontrolling -- it's just a _haircut._
Or, if you can't do that, say something like this: I believe that the haircut is a good idea and won't harm anything. But you're making such a stink that the whole situation is still ugly. I think I have a right to this, and it's harmless. Can you trust my judgement? If you can't, I'll cut it. But I'll know that you don't trust me as a person to make my own decisions. And that affects my trust for you. Can you live with that?
And then just walk away.
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