Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post - I'm a f**kin know-it-all

Sion · 07-18-2003, 11:50 PM

well damn, you guys/gals are TOUGH. but I'll have a go at all of them.

"English -
What does the phrase "funnier than a barrel of monkeys" come from? Are barrels of monkeys actually funny?"

think about it, I mean, really imagine in your head a barrel full of monkeys, all squirming and squealing at each other. isnt that funny? are you smiling yet? I know I am. oh, and there was a toy back in the 50s(?) that was a bunch of plastic monkeys in a plastic barrel. that might be where the phrase comes from.

"Economics, Ethics -
What factors lead executives to corporate scandels such as Enron and Worldcom? How can we ensure future generations will not repeat their mistakes?"

first question: greed and arrogance. second question: nothing. greed and arrogance will always exist.

"Tell me something about forging knife blades from ball bearings."

well first, the ball bearings would need to be melted down into a near liquid state. this requires LOTS of heat. something in the neighborhood of 2500 deg F (or more, depending on the quality of the steel from which the bearings are made). however, this process can be made simpler by using (very) high amperage electrical current as opposed to conventional heat sources like propane gas torches or similar fire devices.

"tell me why this isn't in the Nonesense board."

it could very easily fit there as well as here. it fits here because I am a member and in this thread I am playing around.

"Why didn't Ezra Pound complete his translation of The Seafarer from Old English?"

ugh, Ezra Pound. booooooring stuff. the answer is that he died from self-induced boredom before finishing.

"where did the phrase "your turn in the barrel" come from?"

from that old joke about the guy and his first day at the nudist colony.

"Is it okay to beat off while eating a hot dog?

Can you tell me how to re-jet the carb on a 1980 Vespa P200?"

first question: yes
second question: yes I can. remove the carb from the Vespa. disassemble. remove the jet. replace the jet with a new one that better fits your carburation needs. reassemble carb and replace on moped.

"tell me something about the einstein-bose conglomerate."

Albert Einstein was the genius physicist who created the Theory of Relativity. His equation E=MC^2 is world reknowned and is perhaps the most important thought of the 20th century. A little known fact is that he was also a VERY serious audiophile. His theory was later applied by his son, Aldus Einstein, in secret work done in conjunction with Pioneer Electronics, to create some of the most fantastic audio recievers ever made.

Bose makes some of the best audio speakers you can buy.

Together, the Einstein-Bose conglomerate creates mid-bogglingly expensive home audio systems that can literally melt the time-space continuum. Of course, only Bill Gates can actually afford one of these systems. And he wont buy it because it runs on a Linux platform.

"Those of you who think you know everything are incredibly annoying to those of us that actually do."

Im glad to see that some of you still find humor in that old line. I thought it was pretty funny when I wrote it. I remember that day well. I was 4 and some smartass 6 year old was trying to show me how to calculate Pi to the 40,000th decimal. Of course, he made the classic mistake of forgetting to carry the 2 at decimal 28,364. Thats when I said that to him. I wish I had copyrighted it there and then. I'd be as rich as Trump by now.

"I thought it was "funner than a barrel full of monkeys"?
or maybe he can explain the difference.

Math -
What doesn d/dx mean? And where would you use it?

Sex -
How do you make a woman continuously cum for 5 minutes straight?"

first question: a barrel full of monkeys is both fun AND funny. isnt that obvious?

second question: d/dx can be simplified to 1/x. you would use that in a mathematics course, like calculus.

third question: simple, dont stop.

"Speaking of monkeys...... tell us what "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" refers to"

canon balls on old warships.

"Tell me why there are no answers yet."

I was at work.

"Tell me why you think you can just put up random threads like this and expect people to ask questions?"

for the same reason you think you can do so.

07-18-2003, 11:50 PM	#14 (permalink)
Sion Dumb all over...a little ugly on the side Location: In the room where the giant fire puffer works, and the torture never stops.	well damn, you guys/gals are TOUGH. but I'll have a go at all of them. "English - What does the phrase "funnier than a barrel of monkeys" come from? Are barrels of monkeys actually funny?" think about it, I mean, really imagine in your head a barrel full of monkeys, all squirming and squealing at each other. isnt that funny? are you smiling yet? I know I am. oh, and there was a toy back in the 50s(?) that was a bunch of plastic monkeys in a plastic barrel. that might be where the phrase comes from. "Economics, Ethics - What factors lead executives to corporate scandels such as Enron and Worldcom? How can we ensure future generations will not repeat their mistakes?" first question: greed and arrogance. second question: nothing. greed and arrogance will always exist. "Tell me something about forging knife blades from ball bearings." well first, the ball bearings would need to be melted down into a near liquid state. this requires LOTS of heat. something in the neighborhood of 2500 deg F (or more, depending on the quality of the steel from which the bearings are made). however, this process can be made simpler by using (very) high amperage electrical current as opposed to conventional heat sources like propane gas torches or similar fire devices. "tell me why this isn't in the Nonesense board." it could very easily fit there as well as here. it fits here because I am a member and in this thread I am playing around. "Why didn't Ezra Pound complete his translation of The Seafarer from Old English?" ugh, Ezra Pound. booooooring stuff. the answer is that he died from self-induced boredom before finishing. "where did the phrase "your turn in the barrel" come from?" from that old joke about the guy and his first day at the nudist colony. "Is it okay to beat off while eating a hot dog? Can you tell me how to re-jet the carb on a 1980 Vespa P200?" first question: yes second question: yes I can. remove the carb from the Vespa. disassemble. remove the jet. replace the jet with a new one that better fits your carburation needs. reassemble carb and replace on moped. "tell me something about the einstein-bose conglomerate." Albert Einstein was the genius physicist who created the Theory of Relativity. His equation E=MC^2 is world reknowned and is perhaps the most important thought of the 20th century. A little known fact is that he was also a VERY serious audiophile. His theory was later applied by his son, Aldus Einstein, in secret work done in conjunction with Pioneer Electronics, to create some of the most fantastic audio recievers ever made. Bose makes some of the best audio speakers you can buy. Together, the Einstein-Bose conglomerate creates mid-bogglingly expensive home audio systems that can literally melt the time-space continuum. Of course, only Bill Gates can actually afford one of these systems. And he wont buy it because it runs on a Linux platform. "Those of you who think you know everything are incredibly annoying to those of us that actually do." Im glad to see that some of you still find humor in that old line. I thought it was pretty funny when I wrote it. I remember that day well. I was 4 and some smartass 6 year old was trying to show me how to calculate Pi to the 40,000th decimal. Of course, he made the classic mistake of forgetting to carry the 2 at decimal 28,364. Thats when I said that to him. I wish I had copyrighted it there and then. I'd be as rich as Trump by now. "I thought it was "funner than a barrel full of monkeys"? or maybe he can explain the difference. Math - What doesn d/dx mean? And where would you use it? Sex - How do you make a woman continuously cum for 5 minutes straight?" first question: a barrel full of monkeys is both fun AND funny. isnt that obvious? second question: d/dx can be simplified to 1/x. you would use that in a mathematics course, like calculus. third question: simple, dont stop. "Speaking of monkeys...... tell us what "It's cold enough to freeze the balls off a brass monkey" refers to" canon balls on old warships. "Tell me why there are no answers yet." I was at work. "Tell me why you think you can just put up random threads like this and expect people to ask questions?" for the same reason you think you can do so. __________________ He's the best, of course, of all the worst. Some wrong been done, he done it first. -fz I jus' want ta thank you...falettinme...be mice elf...agin...