analog

I wouldn't fish for shit.

I'm wondering if any of you have ever raided the lettuce-crisper in the wee hours on the morning, only to find that a small animal, perhaps a titmouse, has nestled between the butter and the mustard. Get back to me on that. But, please, when you answer, don't use words... use the magic of interpretive dance.

If seven women requested permission to form a bowling league within your tri-state area, which smell would best describe them? I'm thinking butterscotch, but I've been wrong about this sort of thing before.

Complete the following sentence by choosing a, b, c, d, or e:

My grandpa has always had a fondness for ___________.

(a) eating large quantities of rice and then walking to the supermarket, nude, and urinating on all the
ripe cantaloupes.

(b) making dirty

(c) popping off his wooden leg and sending it via federal express to various government institutions.

(d) throwing sticks at passing jets.

And by the way...
Who left the half-eaten apples in my broom closet? I suspect Enrique the head-monkey, although he denies any knowledge of the incident and only yells "bill goes to church" everytime I question him about it. I will soon be giving him candy and a popsicle.

- analog

p.s.- ducks.