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uncle phil · 07-18-2003, 11:28 AM

USEFUL WORK PHRASES

1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

10) Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...

11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

14) No, my powers can only be used for good.

15) How about never? Is never good for you?

16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

17) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

21) Who me? I just wander from room to room.

22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys!

23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy.

24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits.

25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

26) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

07-18-2003, 11:28 AM	#1 (permalink)
uncle phil comfortably numb... Super Moderator Location: upstate	Work Play USEFUL WORK PHRASES 1) Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 2) The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 3) I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 4) Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental. 5) I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn. 6) I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid. 7) What am I? Flypaper for freaks!? 8) I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 9) I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 10) Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again... 11) I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 12) It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 13) Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 14) No, my powers can only be used for good. 15) How about never? Is never good for you? 16) I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me. 17) You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication. 18) I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter. 19) I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message... 20) I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 21) Who me? I just wander from room to room. 22) My toys! My toys! I can't do this job without my toys! 23) It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the cellular level I'm really quite busy. 24) At least I have a positive attitude about my destructive habits. 25) You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 26) I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 27) Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject. __________________ "We were wrong, terribly wrong. (We) should not have tried to fight a guerrilla war with conventional military tactics against a foe willing to absorb enormous casualties...in a country lacking the fundamental political stability necessary to conduct effective military and pacification operations. It could not be done and it was not done." - Robert S. McNamara ----------------------------------------- "We will take our napalm and flame throwers out of the land that scarcely knows the use of matches... We will leave you your small joys and smaller troubles." - Eugene McCarthy in "Vietnam Message" ----------------------------------------- never wrestle with a pig. you both get dirty; the pig likes it.