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Clavus, I have to say that I understand your prediciment. It is possible that she would have been offended by your well meaning charity. But ultimately, that is her problem, if she can't accept a genuine gesture of kindness.
In all probability she would have joyfully accepted your charity. Next time you're in that kind of situation, screw all the pc bullshit. If she really doesn't want charity, she will turn down your offer, and will hopefully realise that your intentions were in the right place. If she doesn't, well, thats her problem.
Just today for instance, I offered to help an older lady carry a bag of potatoes out to her car from a supermarket. My offer was recieved with the most hideous glare from her, giving out the message that I was being rude to somehow imply that she may have difficulty carrying a bag. Of course she didn't say this. She just muttered "no thank you". But I knew what that really meant. My point is, that I'm just going to put this down as difficulty on her part. It certainly isn't going to stop me making similar offers in the future!
People should be able to accept kindness, or decline an offer with grace.
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