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Numerous keys, two grocery cards (so I don't get treated like a second-class citizen when I'm there), all anchored by a swatch of M.A. black belt material with a grommet in one end (kind of a long-term "eye on the prize" motivational thingee).
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If you want to avoid 95% of internet spelling errors:
"If your ridiculous pants are too loose, you're definitely going to lose them. Tell your two loser friends over there that they're going to lose theirs, too."
It won't hurt your fashion sense, either.
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