Minx

I disagree with this statement. You cannot control every single aspect of your children's lives when they are 16, 17, 18.
I agree with the other things you have said, mostly. As a parent of two children I am a firm believer that unruly children should be dealt with. I don't agree with parents who take their kids out for dinner just to let them run free with no care as to who they are bothering. But, I also believe that people who don't have kids of their own are quick to make faces and disapprove when kids are just being kids. Sometimes they are loud and boisterous and this doesn't mean they are being bad...they are being kids.
My boys are well behaved in public but that isn't to say that one of these days my two year old isn't going to blow a fuse because he's too tired in the grocery store and embarass me. Will I make everyone have to put up with it....no. But will I also accept the looks of "non-child-bearing" people who seem to view it as a personal attack on their peace and quiet? No.
You'll understand when you have kids of your own. I am in no way shape or form trying to advocate letting your kids be mis-behaved. This is not the case at all. I'm only saying that you cannot blame everything on the parents. And to say that a parent has to be totally responsible for the children's actions until they are adults...I don't think so. Do we mold them, guide them...of course. Do their friends also when they are 14 and up? You bet.
I look at my own family. I am the youngest of three.....we were all raised with the same economic factors, very nice home, stay-at-home Mother, secure family, etc etc etc. My brother and I are the exact same - temperment, everything....we are both successful and mentally with it. My sister on the other hand is a nut case. Totally screwed up. How can that be my parent's fault when we were all raised the same? This is why I disagree with your statement. I know from personal experience it isn't always the parents fault.

__________________
You've been a naughty boy....go to my room!