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does the rectum muscle really get weak?
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urban legend. It's like any other muscle; you can
learn to relax it, but that in no way implies it will remain relaxed permanently.
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it also helps if you've very hard, cos no limp dicks go there[/B]
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I wouldn't say that's entirely true. Semi-hard actually works better in some situations and positions. Something slightly more flexible in there is going to be much more confortable for her in many instances. I'm not talking soft, but not entirely hard either. I dunno about you, but when I'm _really_ hard, it's completely stiff and that works great for some things, but not so much with anal and I have to be aware of what angle I'm entering her at or it's going to hurt her. And mind you... we're talking about someone who _likes_ this activity; I'd be even more careful with someone who's new to it.
On the lube issue, water-based work great... we have Astroglide on hand but don't use it often. I'm almost always in her pussy first and she always gets extremely wet, so there's rarely a need, but don't be unprepared, ya know?