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clavus · 07-06-2003, 12:49 PM

A lot of people ask me, "clavus,should I shut the fuck up?" To clear up
any confusion, and avoid hurt feelings, I created this handy list of people
who should, without delay, shut the fuck up. Feel free to print this list and
save it for future reference.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are an executive who makes over $1,000,000 per year, and you want the tax-payers to bail out your poorly-run company, shut the fuck up. You are clearly missing at least one obvious place to cut expenses.

If you are “allegedly the voice of” any deposed third-world terrorist shithead,
shut the fuck up.

If you profess to be against irradiated food, and you own a microwave oven,
shut the fuck up.

If you think there is a good reason for Daylight Savings Time, shut the fuck up.

If you drive a car that gets less than 20 miles per gallon, and you complain about gasoline prices, shut the fuck up.

If you feel that yelling at me is the best way to get me to change my mind and sign your stupid petition, shut the fuck up.

If you are Mike Tyson, shut the fuck up.

If you promote “family values” and have a divorce, illegitimate kids, or a fondness for underage prostitutes, shut the fuck up.

If you think Creed rocks, shut the fuck up.

If you feel the urge to discuss the British Royal Family, shut the fuck up.

If you think that I’m a Democrat just because I don’t like George W. Bush,
shut the fuck up.

If you are “glad that Iraq started a guerrilla war,” shut the fuck up and
apologize to the friends and family of every single person who died in that
festering ass-zit of a country since the war “ended.”

If I can hear you talk at the movies, shut the fuck up.

If you think I care about baseball, shut the fuck up.

If you feel the urge to legislate what people do with their genitals, shut the
fuck up.

If you complain about the government, but don’t vote, shut the fuck up.

If you are an American who wears Doc Martens while protesting “globalization”, shut the fuck up.

If you are against genetically modified crops, and haven’t passed at least
one year of college-level bio-science, shut the fuck up.

If you begin a sentence with, “Long time listener, first time caller,” shut
the fuck up

07-06-2003, 12:49 PM	#1 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	shut the fuck up A lot of people ask me, "clavus,should I shut the fuck up?" To clear up any confusion, and avoid hurt feelings, I created this handy list of people who should, without delay, shut the fuck up. Feel free to print this list and save it for future reference. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If you are an executive who makes over $1,000,000 per year, and you want the tax-payers to bail out your poorly-run company, shut the fuck up. You are clearly missing at least one obvious place to cut expenses. If you are “allegedly the voice of” any deposed third-world terrorist shithead, shut the fuck up. If you profess to be against irradiated food, and you own a microwave oven, shut the fuck up. If you think there is a good reason for Daylight Savings Time, shut the fuck up. If you drive a car that gets less than 20 miles per gallon, and you complain about gasoline prices, shut the fuck up. If you feel that yelling at me is the best way to get me to change my mind and sign your stupid petition, shut the fuck up. If you are Mike Tyson, shut the fuck up. If you promote “family values” and have a divorce, illegitimate kids, or a fondness for underage prostitutes, shut the fuck up. If you think Creed rocks, shut the fuck up. If you feel the urge to discuss the British Royal Family, shut the fuck up. If you think that I’m a Democrat just because I don’t like George W. Bush, shut the fuck up. If you are “glad that Iraq started a guerrilla war,” shut the fuck up and apologize to the friends and family of every single person who died in that festering ass-zit of a country since the war “ended.” If I can hear you talk at the movies, shut the fuck up. If you think I care about baseball, shut the fuck up. If you feel the urge to legislate what people do with their genitals, shut the fuck up. If you complain about the government, but don’t vote, shut the fuck up. If you are an American who wears Doc Martens while protesting “globalization”, shut the fuck up. If you are against genetically modified crops, and haven’t passed at least one year of college-level bio-science, shut the fuck up. If you begin a sentence with, “Long time listener, first time caller,” shut the fuck up __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.