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Sexual activity, according to Carl Sagan (Read: The Dragons of Eden) is handled by a portion of the brain known as the R-Complex. This portion deals with the most primitive biological functions necessary for the survival of a species: breathing, eating, fighting, fleeing, and sexual reproduction.
Since sexual activity is directed innately by the R-Complex, we would normally have no control over it....Its a trait necessary for survival.
However, Another portion of the brain, the Neocortex, came much later on the evolutionary scale. (If you believe in evolution).
The Neocortex is present in most mammalian creatures, and introduces things such as caring, emotions, self-control, advanced intelligence, etc.
It is possible to muffle some R-Complex demands through the neo-cortex. The most prominent example would be control of sexual demands. Of course, this is extremely difficult for most people, since you are going against an ancient evolutionary process that is part of us.
Whether its a "cognitive choice" or not depends on the individual. We cannot compare this to menstruation: which is a completely different bodily function. Menstruation has nothing to do with your cognitive abilities: its simply a vital biological process, like breathing and eating, that keeps a female's uterus in good condition.
In the end, sexual desire is a completely cognitive function. Your brain instructs your body to respond a certain way. Whether it is controllable or not is a gray area.
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