I think you are being quite honest with yourself and all the people here (and that might leave you vulnerable to flaming and yet you want to consider the issue and not just shove it to some closet in the back of your head.
)
Best thing is that you are open about it and you are not a hypocrite. IMO you are not antigay. You have some quite usual phobic/neurotic behaviour patterns against gay men and I would say you are a bit ofa bigor, cos you state clearly you don't want to adopt new ideas even if they'd make your life easier.
I have similiar solution in mind as Lurkette proposed. In your shoes I would stress to these people in question that "you are wonderfull people, I got nothing against you, but I have right to my political ideals anyhow" and if you sort of admit they are emotionally charged ideals and not just rational ones, they might try and understand you too. Hope it goes well and it would be nice to hear how things went.
Redirect:
Well. You are not only a bigot in my eyes but also seem to act like a bully with your friends and while the boy in the cafeteria line was picking up trouble, I wouldn't have gone to so easy provocation, gay or not. *shrug*