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clavus · 07-01-2003, 04:34 PM

I wished a Canadian friend a Happy Canada Day, and this is the reply he sent back. I think its rather funny, and wanted to share. Please note that CLAVUS is not bashing Canada, it is my friend from the North.

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Yep. 1867. 91 years after the US Declaration of Independence. Canada looks around at other now-independent British colonies and decides that perhaps it could govern itself too, but still be subjects of the crown. Britain agrees, probably having forgotten that Canada was still there after the American Revolution. No shots are fired, and the independence date is carefully set near, but not on, July 4th. The first prime minister is elected who is later described in history classes as a boring, lonely alcoholic. Nothing much else happens until WW I, and all of that happens overseas. Then, nothing much else happens until WW II (again overseas). Then nothing much else happens until the French get bored to death of nothing much happening, and try secession in the late 1960s and early 1970s. French-Canadian "terrorists" kidnap and kill some sort of low-level cabinet minister. National martial law is declared for some short period of time before Canadians realize that they're overreacting from the actions of a few street thugs armed with a tire iron and the trunk of a Chevy Duster. The French-Canadians try to vote for secession again in the 1990s and almost make it. And they will try again soon for the sake of there being more than one paragraph of Canadian history.

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To everybody who is offended, and even to those who aren't - Happy Canada Day! We share the largest undefended border in the world, and that's pretty darn cool.

07-01-2003, 04:34 PM	#4 (permalink)
clavus pow! Location: NorCal	I wished a Canadian friend a Happy Canada Day, and this is the reply he sent back. I think its rather funny, and wanted to share. Please note that CLAVUS is not bashing Canada, it is my friend from the North. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Yep. 1867. 91 years after the US Declaration of Independence. Canada looks around at other now-independent British colonies and decides that perhaps it could govern itself too, but still be subjects of the crown. Britain agrees, probably having forgotten that Canada was still there after the American Revolution. No shots are fired, and the independence date is carefully set near, but not on, July 4th. The first prime minister is elected who is later described in history classes as a boring, lonely alcoholic. Nothing much else happens until WW I, and all of that happens overseas. Then, nothing much else happens until WW II (again overseas). Then nothing much else happens until the French get bored to death of nothing much happening, and try secession in the late 1960s and early 1970s. French-Canadian "terrorists" kidnap and kill some sort of low-level cabinet minister. National martial law is declared for some short period of time before Canadians realize that they're overreacting from the actions of a few street thugs armed with a tire iron and the trunk of a Chevy Duster. The French-Canadians try to vote for secession again in the 1990s and almost make it. And they will try again soon for the sake of there being more than one paragraph of Canadian history. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ To everybody who is offended, and even to those who aren't - Happy Canada Day! We share the largest undefended border in the world, and that's pretty darn cool. __________________ Ass, gas or grass. Nobody rides for free.