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Men are _not_ shamed into controlling their sexuality.
A guy that respects his woman does not drool over other women in front of her.
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Or else what? He's disrespectful? He doesn't find his woman attractive? I hope you're not equating simple looks at attractive passersby to "drooling". I wouldn't be caught dead with a woman so insecure or unwilling to accept more realistic and rational opinions over a momentous glance.
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He has enough brain matter to control his urge to mate - just as he controls the other urge that is testosterone driven - violence.
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I disagree that violence is "driven" by testosterone, but if it is, who weilds the control? The man as you claim in the former part, or testosterone?
Desires/urges/thoughts are all private and should be held as valid in a relationship without value. They are just thoughts, they are not secrecy or lies or deceit.
People shouldn't feel pressured to awkwardly ignore attractive passersby or feel restricted in what they do with their partners. I feel that jumping to conclusions or not accepting all thoughts, feelings, and desires of your partner as valid is a red flag that something could be done to improve the security of the relationship.
People in relationships: there are people more attractive than you and your SO, period. Deal with it. You can act apprehensive, offended, ignored, hurt, whatever when it happens, but just know you don't have to and that relationships and love and in a separate league than attractive passersby. As I saw earlier this morning on this board, (ideally) you're not with someone because of their looks.