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Ugliness continues to rear its head within me, seeking not answers, but looking for reasons on why I am failing. I give myself time, patience, thought and the ability to do my tasks yet I continue to stumble on even the simplest of things...WHY me, Why me....I ask. Must I continue to punish myself?

I know the answers, all of them, and even the solutions, yet powerless to stop it. It strangles me with my inabilities and It hides deeply, all my successes. What I have accomplished doesn't matter during these times. And its not depression or the lack for the zest of life, I want to live and grow, build and prosper..Its ringing my mind! It in my mind! Its in my mind! Its in my mind!

I go back to see what has worked most recently to get me out of this ugliness...I tell my mind to shut up! Just leave it alone for a minute and let me clear myself of this ugliness, I say... I wash my mind clear, just for a moment, don't think, not for a moment, but actually just do..Just do... action is needed!!!!NOW.

And even, if only for that moment I DID, I have done, and not just thought!..I have grown, accomplished and get ugliness be silence once more..

__________________
LEATHER, LATEX and LACE "SSC"
"Nothing That Gives Pleasure is Bad"

Quality is for those who know
what they want and are at peace with what they have.

"S/M is about emotion; the erotic tension between my impulse toward something and my resistance against it."-- Virginia Barker