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Fatigue. Feeling relaxed for a while.
Forgetting about lower back pain.
Stress / Anxiety magically disappearing.
Thinning hair / Hair Loss may happen if your grip is too low.
Soft / Weak Erection is to be expected for the next hour or so.
Premature Ejaculation is not a problem while masturbating.
Eye floaters or fuzzy vision may occur if you aim at your own face.
Groin / Testicular Pain may occur if you abstain from masturbation.
Pain or cramp in the pelvic cavity or/and tail bone - well, if that happens, you have found one freaky position I want to know about.
Yeah, I think the list makes more sense now.
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The above was written by a true prophet. Trust me.
"What doesn't kill you, makes you bitter and paranoid". - SB2000
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