Tilted Forum Project Discussion Community - View Single Post

Quadraton · 04-21-2003, 08:07 PM

It's simple really. Here’s what you do;

You initially accuse the ants of gathering weapons of mass destruction.

You decide that the only course of action is to invade the ant colony, and oust its leadership. This will also have the added benefit of providing your wife with the perfect distraction, keeping her from paying attention to your performance problems in bed.

You go to the Neighbourhood Block meeting looking for support. The Neighbourhood Block disagrees with your plans of invasion, and instead decides they want to send in weapons inspectors first.

For weeks, the Queen ant acts defiantly, and refuses to allow weapons inspectors. You don’t mind, as this gives you the perfect reason to invade. At the last minute, the colony gives in, and allows weapons inspectors to come in. You curse in the wind, as your invasion plans have been stalled.

When the inspectors turn up nothing, you call them filthy liars, and return to the Neighbourhood Block to present piss-poor evidence that the ants are harbouring weapons of mass destruction. Amongst your proof, that book report on ants you stole from Jimmy in the sixth grade.

In the end, after certain key members of the Neighbourhood Block threaten to veto your proposal for invasion, you supersede the Neighbourhood Block, and invade the colony anyway. You hold a family meeting, and announce that the Queen has 48 hours to step down, otherwise you will invade the colony.

48 hours later, you enter the colony with your new best friend from next door, because he’s the only one who will support you. The entire campaign takes 2 weeks, during which time you accidentally; elbow your wife in the mouth, drop a heavy brick on your neighbour's foot, and give the dog a nasty burn. It doesn’t help that the kids are constantly whining “Are you done yet?”

When the invasion is finally over, and you yourself cannot find any weapons of mass destruction, you again turn around and tell the world you were only in there to liberate all the ants from their brutal dictator. The ants celebrate their newfound freedom by looting the winter food supply.

After successfully toppling the ant colony, you begin eyeing the wasps' nest because you believe they may be harbouring the Queen ant. You initially accuse the wasps of gathering weapons of mass destruction….

04-21-2003, 08:07 PM	#26 (permalink)
Quadraton Addict Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada	It's simple really. Here’s what you do; You initially accuse the ants of gathering weapons of mass destruction. You decide that the only course of action is to invade the ant colony, and oust its leadership. This will also have the added benefit of providing your wife with the perfect distraction, keeping her from paying attention to your performance problems in bed. You go to the Neighbourhood Block meeting looking for support. The Neighbourhood Block disagrees with your plans of invasion, and instead decides they want to send in weapons inspectors first. For weeks, the Queen ant acts defiantly, and refuses to allow weapons inspectors. You don’t mind, as this gives you the perfect reason to invade. At the last minute, the colony gives in, and allows weapons inspectors to come in. You curse in the wind, as your invasion plans have been stalled. When the inspectors turn up nothing, you call them filthy liars, and return to the Neighbourhood Block to present piss-poor evidence that the ants are harbouring weapons of mass destruction. Amongst your proof, that book report on ants you stole from Jimmy in the sixth grade. In the end, after certain key members of the Neighbourhood Block threaten to veto your proposal for invasion, you supersede the Neighbourhood Block, and invade the colony anyway. You hold a family meeting, and announce that the Queen has 48 hours to step down, otherwise you will invade the colony. 48 hours later, you enter the colony with your new best friend from next door, because he’s the only one who will support you. The entire campaign takes 2 weeks, during which time you accidentally; elbow your wife in the mouth, drop a heavy brick on your neighbour's foot, and give the dog a nasty burn. It doesn’t help that the kids are constantly whining “Are you done yet?” When the invasion is finally over, and you yourself cannot find any weapons of mass destruction, you again turn around and tell the world you were only in there to liberate all the ants from their brutal dictator. The ants celebrate their newfound freedom by looting the winter food supply. After successfully toppling the ant colony, you begin eyeing the wasps' nest because you believe they may be harbouring the Queen ant. You initially accuse the wasps of gathering weapons of mass destruction…. __________________ "A witty saying proves nothing" - Voltaire Last edited by Quadraton; 04-22-2003 at 06:27 PM..