Hydralisk

Your mom's weight is the answer to Fermat's equation
Your mom is so skinny she is living proof for the string theory
Your mom is so ugly, her ugliness intensity is equal to 10^5 units of ugly at a distance of 1 meter and the threshhold of ugliness for the average human is 10^-12 uglies/m^2
Your Mom's so large that objects fall toward her at a rate of 9.8 m/s^2
Your mom is so dense not even intelligence can escape her.
At 6 cents per Kilowatt Hour, Your Mom is worth about 10^50 in rest Mass energy!
Your Mom must be named Jean, because she has Jean's Mass!
Your mom's such a nerd, her G-spot is (6.6726 ± 0.0001)x10 -11 N·m 2 /kg
Your Mom is so into physics that she called me last night and instead of having phone sex we talked about high-energy positron annihilation.
A YIG oscillator can not vibrate near the frequency at which your mom has intercourse.
The Tran conductance of your mom's ass varies inversely with her density
Your Mom is so fat that if one would calculate her Broglie-Wave-Length at the speed of 10^-50 m/s one would get 10^-90
Your Mom is so dense that neutrons cannot penetrate her head
Your Mom is so fat, her lee side develops clear air turbulence.
Light cannot escape from your mom
Your Mom is so old that she has been traveling at a velocity just short of the speed of light all her life and she still appears to be 40 years old.
By Pauli's exclusion principle, your mom cannot exist in a room with any other person of the same fat-spin.
Your mom so stupid, she thought a hydride shift was a waterslide.
Your mom is so dumb she thought that the thrust of a modern rocket was equal to only 1 million pounds, whereas there are many designs exceeding 10 million pounds of Thrust!!
Your Mom is so wide, the enhance-adjusted Euler manifold constant of 11th dimensional quantum tunneling through a 2 foot lead wall are less than 3.88 x 10^-596477745 per Planck!!!
Your Mom's breath is so bad its measured by the reflective power ratio
Your mom's weight is modeled by the summation of a diverging sequence.
Your Mom is so fat, that on mole of her multiplied by Avagadros number, would have her equal to the mass of an atom of an element not yet discovered. Upon discovery of this element, a new type of orbital would be required to account for the immense number
Your Mom is so fat that she makes neighboring carbons split into 5 peaks on her NMR spectrum.
The mass of Your Mom at rest is approximately equal to that of a neutron star traveling at (1-(10^-1000))c.
Your mom is a convenient proof that the universe is still expanding exponentially
Your Mom is so fat that she can theoretically eat as much as she wants and can't get any fatter or she would create a spinning vortex and engulf herself.
If your mom was a polar solute then intelligence would be a non-polar solvent.
If we were to put the fat content your mom through SPSS, the findings would show the distribution would be highly leptokutotic.
Your Mom is such a ho even the noble gases are attracted to her.
Your Mom is so fat that you can't hear her abdominal aorta aneurysm with a duplex dopler.
Your Mom is so stupid, her exchange particle is a "moron"
Your Mom is so dense she refracts light
Your Mom has a gravitational pull equal to that of the Sun.
The moon rotates around the Earth, the Earth rotates around the Sun and the Sun rotates around your Mom!
Your Mom is so large that, in theory, she can see the universe dying around her.
The limit of your mom's ass goes to infinity.
Your Mom is such a slut that around her electrons have a positive charge.
Suppose your mom is skinny, then there exists a domain her ass fits in. Contradiction, hence she has a huge ass.
Your Mom is so massive that the gravitational lensing effect is so great around her that a light beam passing within 1 AU has a radius of curvature of 6E9 meters!
Your Mom's mass to volume ratio is such that she is able to float in a area of pure nitrogen dioxide.
The topology of your mom is very complicated: it involves surfaces which fold back on themselves.