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Poetry · 07-25-2011, 02:38 PM

While this thread is incredibly old...

I think my least favorite one-night stand (there's actually a couple of bad ones, but this one is the best story-fodder) happened a couple of years ago.

I was at my favorite club, dancing, feeling frisky. I normally don't believe in picking up guys at the clubs I frequent because I don't sleep in my social circles as a rule.

But I hadn't seen him before so I thought he was an out-of-towner, thought it was safe. He was smart enough and decent enough looking for a one-nighter, well-dressed, socially competent, seemed dominant. I decided to go for it.

Foreplay was good, but the minute we actually hit the bed, well... fail. It probably didn't help that he tried to sneak a toke right before sex. He said he just likes sex while high-- but I'm a no-substance girl. He didn't even ask if it was okay with me.

So I let him do his thing, trying not to show how bored I was. Succeeded.

Then it gets weird. He takes the condom, ties it off, and puts it on the top of a bookcase by some odd sculptures. I stand up. I see the statue, a bell, a knife, a candle. Standing there going, "Crap, I pulled a faerie-kid. I thought my screening process was better than this."

And then, when I made the mistake of asking why he was keeping the condom, he says he always saves his emissions so he can consume them later to keep his energy with him.

So I leave, thinking I'll never see him again. He tries to hit me up a few times for more sex, but I tell him no, I'm busy, etc. And it turns out he is a regular at the club-- I'm just always too busy dancing to actually pay attention to those who don't.

Months later, I bump into him at the same club... which had become normal. However, this time was slightly different. This time, after the club, I curled up at a nearby diner to read and refuel. I checked my phone and had a voicemail. It was from him. Inside the club. He left a message telling me that he was watching me dance and he really, really wanted to meet up after the club and I should give him a call.

I didn't.

It took about two years of "no, thank you"s before he realized I wasn't going to sleep with him again. He's a nice guy, I enjoy chatting with him... I just don't want to watch some guy drink his sperm after we have boring sex.

07-25-2011, 02:38 PM	#24 (permalink)
Poetry Crazy Location: Los Angeles, CA	While this thread is incredibly old... I think my least favorite one-night stand (there's actually a couple of bad ones, but this one is the best story-fodder) happened a couple of years ago. I was at my favorite club, dancing, feeling frisky. I normally don't believe in picking up guys at the clubs I frequent because I don't sleep in my social circles as a rule. But I hadn't seen him before so I thought he was an out-of-towner, thought it was safe. He was smart enough and decent enough looking for a one-nighter, well-dressed, socially competent, seemed dominant. I decided to go for it. Foreplay was good, but the minute we actually hit the bed, well... fail. It probably didn't help that he tried to sneak a toke right before sex. He said he just likes sex while high-- but I'm a no-substance girl. He didn't even ask if it was okay with me. So I let him do his thing, trying not to show how bored I was. Succeeded. Then it gets weird. He takes the condom, ties it off, and puts it on the top of a bookcase by some odd sculptures. I stand up. I see the statue, a bell, a knife, a candle. Standing there going, "Crap, I pulled a faerie-kid. I thought my screening process was better than this." And then, when I made the mistake of asking why he was keeping the condom, he says he always saves his emissions so he can consume them later to keep his energy with him. So I leave, thinking I'll never see him again. He tries to hit me up a few times for more sex, but I tell him no, I'm busy, etc. And it turns out he is a regular at the club-- I'm just always too busy dancing to actually pay attention to those who don't. Months later, I bump into him at the same club... which had become normal. However, this time was slightly different. This time, after the club, I curled up at a nearby diner to read and refuel. I checked my phone and had a voicemail. It was from him. Inside the club. He left a message telling me that he was watching me dance and he really, really wanted to meet up after the club and I should give him a call. I didn't. It took about two years of "no, thank you"s before he realized I wasn't going to sleep with him again. He's a nice guy, I enjoy chatting with him... I just don't want to watch some guy drink his sperm after we have boring sex. __________________ "You know what? Fuck the moon! He controls our water and our women. I've had enough!"