Quote:
Originally Posted by Poetry
I have limited time. I'm a decently attractive female. I get male attention. While it would be nice to be incredibly rich and have all the free time in the world, I work full-time, I'm a college student, I have an active social life, I have goals I'm pursuing outside of school and work.
I don't have time to go through each man who "submits an application" (in life or online) to really determine what he's trying to achieve (if anything) and then determine, after his intentions have been revealed, that he'd be a suitable partner for me.
So while men are checking me out and determining simply based on my body that I am a suitable partner and they're being told that's normal and expected behavior for men... I'm getting berated for evaluating a man's actions by my standards and determining if he's worth my time and my affections. If I say no, if I mock someone's poor execution of seduction (never to their face-- that would be rude), then I'm arrogant and putting too much stock in my own value (AKA looks).
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That's a perfect example of the use of the experience-based heuristic. And yours is eminently sensible in the circumstances, because you can't do a deep analysis on every approach in order to determine whether the sender is in reality a sensitive, shy, misunderstood type who would treat you like gold if you only you got to know him and appreciate him, blah, blah, blah........ There's a limit to the number of false positives you can subject yourself to. Perfectly undersandable.
Conversely, there really is a population of hidden gems that are shy and aren't sure how to make themselves appreciated. It's not any particular person's job to help them, of course -- we all have our own lives, and time is precious -- but those guys will be overlooked. It's ok to accept that there will be false negatives, but recognize that they're there, and that foregoing them is part of the price of using your heuristic.