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Originally Posted by Poetry
Hey, one of the mods, is there a way to split this thread? We've got some good discussion about the OP, but now it's going onto rape and potential rapists. Would be nice to have them separated.
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Yes, it's definitely possible, but I honestly don't see a logical divergence of conversations. They all seem intertwined to me. PM me if you have some suggestions, though.
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Originally Posted by mixedmedia
It didn't used to bother me to sit in a restaurant and see some guy sitting there with his family and staring a hole in my head while I'm trying to have dinner with my daughters, now it does.
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You know who you forgot to mention? All the guys NOT staring a hole in your head. And there are going to be times where you assume that he's staring at you when he's not.
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Originally Posted by thirtiesgirl
Rather than taking my words at face value and accepting that it's ok for women to tell you to step off and leave us alone if we don't want to talk to you, you're engaging in personal attacks and 'humor' in poor taste to insist you're really the marginalized one, being male and all, and that women should just stop their damn complaining so much.
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How about we lay off the accusations of personal attacks when there haven't been any, m'kay? No one here has called you a name or insulted you. They've disagreed with you and attacked your opinion, but you aren't your opinion, are you?
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Originally Posted by thirtiesgirl
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Now that's a lot closer to a personal attack.
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Originally Posted by mixedmedia
Speaking for myself and my own comments.
I have spent more than five years on this site hearing how shallow, deceitful and manipulative women are when it comes to men. In fact, you yourself, Baraka referred to women as being ok with these kinds of advances from rich/attractive men, which really surprised me. Women are accused of 'duckfacing in bikinis' and then being outraged when someone makes an advance. Somehow these kinds of comments are ok. But now behavior that men proudly attribute to themselves is being challenged, not as demeaning or perverted (by me), but as a tiresome, predictable pain in the ass and you just can't stand it. I don't get it.
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[sigh] This thread is full of assumptions, extreme positions, gross generalizations and arguments designed to have no room for compromise. I love it!
Look, not all men are like this. All men certainly aren't like this all the time. Just like not all women are "duckfacing in bikinis". I'm pretty sure, MM, that you've never been photographed that way. Am I right?
Back in the stone age, before the internet, there was the wolf whistle. It still exists, but it's effectively the analog version of "nice pics". Some guys use it. I've only used it for humor. I've never posted "nice pics" when the pictures in question weren't posted to gather exactly that result. Many of those posts were in threads created by you, MM. So does that make me a bad guy? A rapist? Scum? An asshole? (oh, wait, I am that one.)
Some guys are assholes. So are some women. Not everyone is. So this whole thing about all men - or all straight men over the age of 12 or whatever group most of the women in this thread find so threatening - is just a plain old fallicy. Sure there are bad guys. There are bad ladies too. But just because some dickhead in a restaurant eyefucked you when you're with your daughters, I'm not guilty of anything simply because I have a penis.
A few years ago, I was in a restaurant with a few clients. From my perspective, an attractive woman marched up to the table out of the blue and said "I'd appreciate it if you'd stop staring at me while I'm eating with my family" to one of the guys at the table. He asked if her name was Jane Doe - it was and it turns out they went to high school together. The point is that it's sometimes very hard to know what's going through someone else's head. Maybe he is eyefucking you. Maybe he's trying to figure out if he knows you from somewhere. Maybe he's wondering why someone hasn't told you that you have bird shit on top of your head. There are multiple possibilities and you're assuming that you know which is correct.
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Originally Posted by aberkok
But as a whole half of the planet's population, we still have it way better.
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Sure. But there are multiple reasons why - not that most of them are fair - that have nothing to do with the topic of this thread. Your comment is topical, don't get me wrong, but it has little to do with the fact that evolution decided to make female humans nurturers and programed them to be so chemically. That got reinforced with civilization.
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Originally Posted by mixedmedia
yes. this thread sort of has the feel of a party line on Friday night in Tupelo. or how I imagine it might have been...
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That's awful specific. How often did you find yourself in Mississippi in the 80's?
But, yeah, I kinda agree.
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Originally Posted by thirtiesgirl
Noodle whines that "it's not all about you" (i.e., women). But that's the point: it is. When you approach a woman and she tells you to get lost or doesn't respond to you, her reasons for doing so are all about her, not you. Maybe she was the victim of a sexual assault. Maybe she has other things on her mind and is too busy to pay attention to some dude who just wants a little attention. You have no way of knowing. So instead of assuming that women think you're a "walking cock," that you're an "automatic predator," that you plan to "ram [us] deep and hard while [we] shriek in horror," stop thinking about yourselves for half a minute and realize that there may be other reasons she doesn't want to talk to you. Respect those reasons, whatever they may be, and leave her the hell alone. If she doesn't want to talk to you, quit insisting "but I'm really a nice guy, I just want to talk to you," and walk away. Again, aren't we allowed to be female in public or on social networking sites without guys believing they have a right to get in our space?
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You know why I approach strange women in public? Because they have something I want. It's almost never what's between their legs, and it's almost always information - like "how do I get to Point A?" or "what time is it?" or "where'd you get that cool thingy?" How, as a man, am I supposed to know if someone, regardless of gender, doesn't want to talk to me unless I talk to them first? Why do you insist that it's bad for me to ask half the population questions? Are you really that unfriendly? No one is obligated to respond to anyone else in this social setting, so assuming that every conversation is designed as a pants-remover is so incredibly sad that it's circled back through the spectrum to become funny. If you're content being without human contact, that's fine, but I couldn't stand it, either personally or professionally. By your logic, I'm committing a social crime every time I cold-call a potential client with a vagina. That's clearly just untrue.