thirtiesgirl

Thanks for bringing this to our attention, chinese_watertorture. Honestly. It's a good cause. In the future, though, please try to get my username correct, ok? It's not "thirtysomething," it's thirtiesgirl, in reference to my interest in the style & decor of the 1920s and '30s. This information can be easily found by clicking on my username and profile information, or maybe perusing my intro in the "newbies" thread, where I briefly explained my username. It's kind of like getting to know a woman before you approach her in public or on FB. Spend a little time getting to know her, and I guarantee you'll get a better response. To borrow a line from Ms. Janet Jackson, "no, my first name ain't 'baby'; it's Janet, Ms. Jackson if you're nasty." Get it right.

From reading some of the guys' responses in this thread, it's apparent that there still is no safe place online, except maybe a sexual assault and rape survivors' forum, for women to assert themselves and tell men to leave us alone if we don't want to be approached. Noodle whines that "it's not all about you" (i.e., women). But that's the point: it is. When you approach a woman and she tells you to get lost or doesn't respond to you, her reasons for doing so are all about her, not you. Maybe she was the victim of a sexual assault. Maybe she has other things on her mind and is too busy to pay attention to some dude who just wants a little attention. You have no way of knowing. So instead of assuming that women think you're a "walking cock," that you're an "automatic predator," that you plan to "ram [us] deep and hard while [we] shriek in horror," stop thinking about yourselves for half a minute and realize that there may be other reasons she doesn't want to talk to you. Respect those reasons, whatever they may be, and leave her the hell alone. If she doesn't want to talk to you, quit insisting "but I'm really a nice guy, I just want to talk to you," and walk away. Again, aren't we allowed to be female in public or on social networking sites without guys believing they have a right to get in our space?

It saddens me that we still can't assert our right to be left alone and have this conversation online without guys whining that it's "misandry," that we "automatically assume all men are sexual predators," ad infinitum. It doesn't make me feel very comfortable or very much like participating in places like this, and makes me wonder why I continue to try.

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