Quote:
Originally Posted by aberkok
No... I agree.
I feel that here though, we are not lamenting the cases in which men are legally discriminated against. Rather, some of us are lamenting the loss of the right to approach women without being seen as sexual predators. And there's hardly any women who show these extremes of thought!! I've never experienced this cold shoulder we are so offended at getting. Is this a real problem dudes?? Or is it just that we can't accept that some women (probably a minority) feel this way to this extent?
When one of us is saddled with hugely disproportionate alimony payments, I will be the first in line to lament the injustice. If a male school teacher is fired for giving a kid a hug, I will be on the phone to the CBC saying it's out of order.
But you'll never see me tying it all together as a systemic societal problem that requires action. I would consider going to a feminist rally, but never a hominist (?) one.
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Yeah, I get you. I guess my stance is that there is a difference between "women should always be wary of men" vs. "men shouldn't ever approach women."
---------- Post added at 08:55 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:41 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedmedia
I don't want my comments to be confused with thinking there is anything "wrong" with men and their sexuality. It has always seemed completely natural and normal to me for men to pursue opportunities and there's never been any real need to argue about it. As long as I have had the opportunity to know men, I have understood (from their own conversations with me) that there is a certain amount of objectification of women going on all the time. And I could have sworn that this same self-observation has been bandied around with much humor and openness right here at TFP, but either that was just my imagination or talking about it from my jaded, old perspective hits a nerve of some kind. It's ok. I understand. But I also understand that the guy who approaches me out of the blue while I am sorting socks at the laundromat wouldn't be as interested in my opinion on the temperature outside if I were there sorting socks with another man. Or if I were a man (exceptions apply, of course). That doesn't mean that I hate him, that I will be rude or unfriendly toward him, that I think he is immoral or perverted or that there is no possibility of moving past that initial encounter to become friends. And it certainly doesn't mean that I consider him to be a threat of some kind. I do not equate male sexuality with criminality. I'm just tired.
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Understood. However, I think the challenge here is in figuring out the differences in how sexuality works between men and women and also in realizing that sexuality alone doesn't make up the sum total of an individual.
It's about the cliche: Men just want to fuck you.
Sure, men want to fuck you, but that doesn't mean that men are just a bunch of walking cocks. That too is objectification, non?
I'm no pro. I hinted before about my sexual passiveness. I'm an introverted repressive mess when it comes to interacting with the opposite sex. All I know is that, as a guy, I find looking at attractive women both sexually and aesthetically pleasing. Does this mean I objectify women? Well, I suppose if I think about their bodies and what I would do to them instead of—oh, I don't know—who she is as a person, then you could call it that. But aren't women capable of doing the same thing when looking at men?
Also, I sincerely doubt it's the case that all men partake in purely objectifying women. We're human too. We think about things such as what she does for a living, wondering what her name is, what her interests are, what she's capable of....
Maybe it's this idealist in me again. Maybe we
are just a bunch of walking cocks.
Thinking about these things makes me tired.