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Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
This is where I get confused. Is it wrong to think about sex as much as we do? Is this a disorder of the mind? Is this what's "wrong" with men? Are we only supposed to do what women want us to do, even in our minds?
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I kind of left this open (too lazy to type all my thoughts out at once). I don't feel that it is wrong to think this way. There are levels of involvement when thinking about having sex with the woman in front of you. If it "crosses my mind" which it does when I'm attracted to the woman, that can hardly be helped. If I actively begin to imagine things taking place, i.e. "undressing with my mind", well that might be o.k. when done at a great distance, but if you're doing it to someone you are interacting with, then whether it's right or wrong, you should probably be focusing on the interaction at hand rather than your sexual fantasy. Quash it... think of England or Baseball or heaven forbid, the conversation. Take some responsibility for your thoughts.
Speaking for myself, these thoughts aren't automatic when I talk to all women, or even all attractive ones, but they tend to happen. I won't feel guilt for it, but I
will feel guilt, and try to rectify when I've managed to ignore a genuine interaction or spent an entire conversation objectifying a woman. Luckily, thanks to my powerful brain, I can push the sex thoughts out of the way, thanks to a little skill I've been training since kindergarten: focus. Focus is also something the male (and female) brain can get very good at.
---------- Post added at 07:26 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:16 PM ----------
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Originally Posted by me about hegemony
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Baraka_Guru
I'm not comfortable with this position, or maybe it's the language. For one, women in many parts of the Western world aren't the second-class citizens they once were. Second, men have and often do get caught up in unjust situations based on this premise that all men are capable and likely predisposed towards predatory or otherwise depraved actions. False accusations of men who work in schools (or otherwise with children), the sometimes unwarranted disproportionate treatment in family law, etc., are all based on some assumption that men are by their nature a kind of danger.
Maybe it's true and I'm a hopeless idealist. That doesn't change the fact that it makes me uncomfortable.
Maybe I'm a closet womanizer in denial.
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I don't know of anywhere on earth where women don't have catching up to do. Sure... a woman in North America is less likely to be raped and can probably count on not being circumcised against her will, but to me, that is merely a
good start.
For every case a man is unfairly discriminated against, I'm sure there are at least a million where women are (yes I am pulling that statistic from my butt and yes it's an exaggeration, but still...). To my question: "what do men have to lose by being perceived of as Schrodinger's Rapist?" I would answer: "some, but not as much as women still have to gain."
I listened to an interview with Dave Foley from Kids in the Hall and if he makes a million dollars this year, he will just break even thanks to what he owes in child payments thanks to Ontario alimony law. It's those stories that make me feel bad for some bias against men in the courts. But as a whole half of the planet's population, we still have it way better.