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creminator · 07-15-2011, 06:51 AM

My wife and I met in college. It was a sexual thing that got emotional up to the point of declaring love. Then the there was cheating on her part that I was unaware of. She was not discovered but sort of told on herself. I asked her one of those moments where you are looking for a green light to take it up a notch, you know, you are afraid to get hurt so you look for something that tells you it is safe to care more deeply for this person. I asked if she had ever gone out on me and her reply was 'well, I never went out, went out on you'.

Now this was one hell of a riddle and I asked what she meant. She became defensive and would not tell me anything. Curiosity killing the cat and everything the more I asked the more she would give me just enough info that I would buy it for a while. She filtered the info and just made it horrible on me. I did find out that months before she had asked if we could date others. I said sure, not wanting to be controlling and such. Well we decided that this did not include sleeping with others. Well she had not been able to be open enough with me our herself to say yes it means we can sleep with other people. Seems she was testing our relationship and other bullshit psycho babble but she was not coming clean. I fucked around on her as well but I would never have cheated on her if I had not been told the "date other people thing" (I knew it meant sleep with others but if they will not be honest and admit feelings how can they be dealt with). So we now in a relationship where the trust was gone. The relationship suffered of course but we really were sick for each other, I could not forgive with out honesty, she couldn't be honest.

This made for a crappy relationship where we craved each other but I was hurt and not heal able. I would throw it up in her face out of frustration over her not coming clean over the issue. I eventually drove her to it again (or has a pattern now been established) What ever it was a rinse and repeat deal.

Now after 25 years of marriage with no adultery from either we are finally making strides. She has admitted what happened and taken ownership of it. She has admitted that over our whole relationship she kept issues or created issues so we could not really be as close, to trust, to fully love. There was a rage to our life. I put her down, criticized her, and took my hurt and pain out on her. I have been able to lay down my objects that were protecting me from the next big hurting that I knew was on the way some day.

So we are now on the edge of happiness except for one thing. She told me of a single sexual experience of her youth. The guy was hung and apparently was engaged in some filthy sexual flirting with her which she fell for. Then it happened with him of course. When she told me about it she said he was hung, even giving me the measurements and that every girl should get a big one at least once. She said the bed was soaked when they were done which I assume was a Gspot O. This was at a time when Gspot stuff was unheard of. I do not even know if she realizes what it was. She said that it was a one time thing, the best sex she ever had and she does not think about it. She said I was second best.

I am not hung. 5". I have some insecurities about that but hell you got what you got so use it well. She has said I am the only person she has ever been open with about sex. We have porked like rabbits the last three weeks. I asked her if that was still the best and she said yes "but she has orgasms with me too".

So for the ladies why do you think she never said lets see if I can orgasm like that one time. Why would she not want to experience that with me? She keeps this side of her self away from me. WHY? Why not try to achieve that with me? She has orgasms from my stimulating her boobs and has multiple Os when we have sex. Am I missing something here? Is she using this as the last block to coming close to me?

G spot stuff interest me now as I want to try it with her. But I also do not want to fail as failure is too costly. I don't think you need to be a horse cock to experience that with a woman do you? It seems like a state of mind like the nipple orgasms. Am I right or what.

Suggestions?

Do you think that I am using this issue as one of my blocks?

07-15-2011, 06:51 AM	#1 (permalink)
creminator Upright	Where is the Gspot thread? My wife and I met in college. It was a sexual thing that got emotional up to the point of declaring love. Then the there was cheating on her part that I was unaware of. She was not discovered but sort of told on herself. I asked her one of those moments where you are looking for a green light to take it up a notch, you know, you are afraid to get hurt so you look for something that tells you it is safe to care more deeply for this person. I asked if she had ever gone out on me and her reply was 'well, I never went out, went out on you'. Now this was one hell of a riddle and I asked what she meant. She became defensive and would not tell me anything. Curiosity killing the cat and everything the more I asked the more she would give me just enough info that I would buy it for a while. She filtered the info and just made it horrible on me. I did find out that months before she had asked if we could date others. I said sure, not wanting to be controlling and such. Well we decided that this did not include sleeping with others. Well she had not been able to be open enough with me our herself to say yes it means we can sleep with other people. Seems she was testing our relationship and other bullshit psycho babble but she was not coming clean. I fucked around on her as well but I would never have cheated on her if I had not been told the "date other people thing" (I knew it meant sleep with others but if they will not be honest and admit feelings how can they be dealt with). So we now in a relationship where the trust was gone. The relationship suffered of course but we really were sick for each other, I could not forgive with out honesty, she couldn't be honest. This made for a crappy relationship where we craved each other but I was hurt and not heal able. I would throw it up in her face out of frustration over her not coming clean over the issue. I eventually drove her to it again (or has a pattern now been established) What ever it was a rinse and repeat deal. Now after 25 years of marriage with no adultery from either we are finally making strides. She has admitted what happened and taken ownership of it. She has admitted that over our whole relationship she kept issues or created issues so we could not really be as close, to trust, to fully love. There was a rage to our life. I put her down, criticized her, and took my hurt and pain out on her. I have been able to lay down my objects that were protecting me from the next big hurting that I knew was on the way some day. So we are now on the edge of happiness except for one thing. She told me of a single sexual experience of her youth. The guy was hung and apparently was engaged in some filthy sexual flirting with her which she fell for. Then it happened with him of course. When she told me about it she said he was hung, even giving me the measurements and that every girl should get a big one at least once. She said the bed was soaked when they were done which I assume was a Gspot O. This was at a time when Gspot stuff was unheard of. I do not even know if she realizes what it was. She said that it was a one time thing, the best sex she ever had and she does not think about it. She said I was second best. I am not hung. 5". I have some insecurities about that but hell you got what you got so use it well. She has said I am the only person she has ever been open with about sex. We have porked like rabbits the last three weeks. I asked her if that was still the best and she said yes "but she has orgasms with me too". So for the ladies why do you think she never said lets see if I can orgasm like that one time. Why would she not want to experience that with me? She keeps this side of her self away from me. WHY? Why not try to achieve that with me? She has orgasms from my stimulating her boobs and has multiple Os when we have sex. Am I missing something here? Is she using this as the last block to coming close to me? G spot stuff interest me now as I want to try it with her. But I also do not want to fail as failure is too costly. I don't think you need to be a horse cock to experience that with a woman do you? It seems like a state of mind like the nipple orgasms. Am I right or what. Suggestions? Do you think that I am using this issue as one of my blocks?