Quote:
Originally Posted by Strange Famous
I know it is my own personality that makes me lonely and at the same time I bemoan the fact that I am, but I dont know how to break the cycle.
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I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but I'm going to say it anyway. A lot of the way you describe your problems in life sounds like depression. You've admitted that you have a family history of depression and probably suffer from it yourself.
You need to step up to the plate (or whatever the equivalent cricket metaphor is
) and admit it to yourself. Talk to your doctor and see what he/she says, and take a referral to a psychiatrist if necessary. It's not easy to talk to a doctor about depression, western culture as a whole sees it as a personality flaw rather than a real illness and stigmatizes it heavily; people who see it that way don't understand what it really is and just make it harder to get necessary help.
Treatment may be as simple as getting a prescription and checking in with a doctor every few months to make sure everything is going well. Combine that with the understanding that depression isn't your fault and it doesn't make you any less of a whole person if you need medication or therapy and your life can be a whole lot better.