New sim card? You seem to have picked up a big bag of crap that you are having trouble putting down. Talk to your healthcare professionals - they will help you learn how to put the bag down. Please dont hold onto the bag of crap clutching it to your chest.
Try a bit of Oscar Wilde
The Nightingale and the Rose
'She said that she would dance with me if I brought her red roses,' cried the young Student; 'but in all my garden there is no red rose.'
From her nest in the holm-oak tree the Nightingale heard him, and she looked out through the leaves, and wondered.
'No red rose in all my garden!' he cried, and his beautiful eyes filled with tears. 'Ah, on what little things does happiness depend! I have read all that the wise men have written, and all the secrets of philosophy are mine, yet for want of a red rose is my life made wretched.'
'Here at last is a true lover,' said the Nightingale. 'Night after night have I sung of him, though I knew him not: night after night have I told his story to the stars, and now I see him. His hair is dark as the hyacinth-blossom, and his lips are red as the rose of his desire; but passion has made his lace like pale Ivory, and sorrow has set her seal upon his brow.'
Read the rest - who are you in this story?
Short Stories: The Nightingale and the Rose by Oscar Wilde