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Darryn ... Hi. Firstly, she's thinking about you, secondly she's wishing you well, and even more than that, she wanted to let you know. I agree that a "Thank you" or a terse 'thx' would be sufficient, after all, you are furious with her, but she is being nice.
Mind you, your statements of intent to do her damage, whether it be physical or emotional do, indeed, put readers in a position of potential ethical obligation. And yes, some of them will sound worried, upset, and straight out angry at you. I bet it does hurt like hell to read that on your computer monitor when you're feeling the way you're feeling, but can you grit your teeth, because you've stirred up a storm, and what's coming back at you might feel rock-hard, but it is rock solid.
People are telling you what you need to know NOW in a situation for which you have little or no experience. You said that you have carefully practised staying away from people who might inflict unnecessary damage, and you have been successful so far. "I never had been failed, much less deal with the anger that comes with failure." It is BECAUSE you have been successful so far, you are, at present, very inexperienced in dealing with those feelings. You have not got ENOUGH experience YET regarding how to separate 'feeling angry with' from 'want to do bad things to the person you are angry with. The inner 'feeling' of anger is yours ... beyond need to justify. How you choose to express it, is, however, subject to justification and judgement, yours, yes, and also of those around you. I reckon we are big enough to absorb a few 'Go fuck yourself's ... you're a human animal in pain, and a lion will roar when someone grasps the thorn in its paw. A lion thrashing around is also at risk of harming himself and others. Concerned bystanders have to take that into account too. At the moment, this is your blind spot ... your Achilles Heel. Some of these posts you are reading are agony, at a time when you have been feeling rotten already. They might not fit your sense of logic or fairness, but they are, in my opinion, the best things you need to hear at the moment.
They are not being said gently, because you need to change NOW. The sooner you do this now, the sooner many agonies will be in the past. And you know things need to Change Now, Darryl, because, while it is about you and one woman, it is also about those times which will happen in the future when you might judge things and people as being unfair. You Need Now to learn what you need to deal with them. You cannot allow them to interfere with your prospects, your college work, or your values of being a nice person. You need to be prepared. One way you dealt with stuff has been to choose your friends carefully - "high caliber". Preventative action. Good. And this here, is part of the other side of the coin: your 101 course in how to begin appropriately to deal with unfair adversity when it happens.
Best wishes
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ZENDA
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