I've been to a few Swinger's clubs in Toronto with my Girlfriend (M4, Wicked, Xclub - they all have their own pluses and minuses)
Club M4 - Toronto's Hottest Swingers Club
The X Club: Toronto Swinger Club, Adult Lifestyle Club, Nightclub, Bar and Lounge.
www.wickedclub.com
I think we tried swinging about 2 years ago or so. I quite like like it I must admit.
The pluses:
1. It removes or drastically removes the concept of "cheating" from a relationship. Like it or not, more people cheat than don't in a so called "normal relationship". Swinging means you get to fuck other people and get it out of your system without having to slither around with with hiders.
2. Sexually - it's quite thrilling. I've had some of my most memorable sexual occasions with swinging - perhaps the most memorable was a private room with about 4 couples going at it at the same time.
3. It allows you to be more honest with your signficant other about your sexual fantasies. We both get turned on talking about our experiences and have maintained a very remarkable sex life with each other.
4. If you are a couple - it is something you do as a couple. Some clubs allow single guys on specific nights, but your odds as a single guy are slim (but not 0).
Draw backs
1. Can be addictive. I'd like to go every 2'nd or 3'rd week. My GF likes to make it more of a "special thing" so it's maybe every 2 or 3 months. Can sometimes be a source of friction between us where I want to go and she doesn't. Or, she says she will, then changes her mind for one reason or another.
2. "Taking one for the team". It is hard to find a couple where we both "hit the jack pot" For example, there is this one couple where I LOVE fucking the woman. She's totally sexual and we hit it off. My GF however - well, the male part of the other couple is hung like a gerbil and usually limp - though he's orally quite skilled apparently. So, my GF ends up taking one for the team. Ditto this other couple we met - my GF loves fucking him, but I just go through the motions with her.
One couple we met summed it up quite perfectly......"If you are in a solid relationship and you are both into it, then swinging will make your relationship better than ever. But if you are in a weak relationship, it (swinging) will blow it (your relationship) apart".
Very true.
There are rules to swinging believe it or not. The number one rule is you don't swing without your significant other. The number 2 rule is that you have to respect the other couple's right to say no thanks.
I don't want to make it the focus of my life, but damn, it's thrilling. Sometimes we go to the sex club and hook up with another couple, or couples. Sometimes, we just have sex with each other and wander around the backroom and take in the sexual charge in the room.