Quote:
Originally Posted by Charlatan
Wow. Some people are very passionate about hitting their kids.
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Whoa, easy there Chief, in my case the passion is for the
right, not the act. In 14yrs I have never found it necessary to exercise that right. But if I do find it necessary, I will exercise my right.
Then again, I don't reward every breath they take either. So they aren't disrespectful little shits that think everyone owes them the world.
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I look at this as the lesser of two evils. I do not condone abuse in any way, physical, verbal or mental. But I do wholeheartedly condone giving your child the tools they need to succeed. One of those tools is discipline.
By taking away the right of a parent to discipline their child, you are telling the parent they are not responsible for their child's behavior. If you take away one tool used in discipline, then you better replace it with something equally effective. So if someone is too lazy, to take the time to talk to their children, explain why what they did is wrong and follow through with a punishment, instead resorting to a slap. If you take away that slap, you better be willing to teach that parent an alternate means of discipline.
Kids aren't stupid and they are devious as can be. They will use everything they can think of, to manipulate you, to get their way. Remove discipline from the equation and you get GeeDubbya Bush and nobody wants/needs that. They don't see a parent talking to them instead of hitting them, they see, that they got to do what they wanted and got away with it.
If you teach your kids they can have anything and do anything they want without any recourse, they will fail in life. Life just doesn't play by those rules and it hits a lot harder than any parent can, life plays for keeps. Life will kill you.
There was a post a couple of years ago about hiring people to work for you. I talked about how I always look for retired seniors citizens when I need help these days because the kids are useless. They would show up when they wanted, put in a pathetic day of work, then ask for a raise. When they didn't get what they wanted, they just quit showing up. No notice, no phone call, just didn't show up or return calls. It was pitiful. They wanted a reward just for being there. I wonder who taught them that? It wasn't isolated either, it was literally 9/10 kids I hired. The one exception was the son of a Dairy farmer who'd been working since he was 6 or 7, helping around the farm. Who do you think is going to do better in life? No, I don't think everyone should start working at 6yo. I think that by working at that young age, he learned discipline and a work ethic that is commendable.
I don't think any real parent holds malice toward their children, but I think a lot of people, not just parents, fail to see the long term effects they're having on children. The current generation graduating college is the scariest shit I've seen in my lifetime. If you think the country is fucked up now, wait 20 years. Think the government is out of control with taxes, non-taxes, corporate lobbying, war, national debt, etc..... What do you think is going to happen when these self entitled little shits hold the keys to the kingdom? That kid who was rewarded just for showing up. The one that got a 5 minute time out for doing exactly what he was told not to do. The child that was taught all his/her life that it's better to just do it and ask forgiveness later. The child who has never had to earn anything and has never paid the consequences of his/her actions?
Fuck, just look at what's happening right now with our economy; the bank bailouts, Wall street, Supreme Court judges, unapproved wars, trillions of dollars of debt and none of those responsible will ever be held accountable for their actions. Just like undisciplined children and we as citizens, bad parents.
Once again, I'm not condoning abuse, just discipline that is effective. The idea that a slap teaches violence as a solution is non-sense as well, beating your kids may teach that, but not a slap to get their attention. Like it or not, we are born violent. Don't believe me? Try watching a few toddlers trying to play with the same toy. In your first year, you haven't had time to learn violence and in all likely hood have never even seen it. But it's a Battle Royale when more than one child decides they want to play with that same toy. Eye gouging, kicking, hitting no holds barred brawls. Hitting is probably one of the most corrected behaviors and likely the reason some one decided it must come from the parents actions, because it is so common. It's common, because it's already there at birth.
We are effectively training morality out of society with these actions.
And somehow people are equating reasonable, necessary, discipline, with abuse???? Equating a hand or butt slap as violence??? Does that make all physical contact violence? I believe the pendulum has swung way too far to the side and these actions are doing far more harm than they were intended to prevent. Parents going to prison and kids in foster care because some tiny minded ass lick witnessed a hand slap and called the police?? What the fuck is wrong with people?
I have a friend. Here mom is a psychotic bitch. My friend decided she would not let her daughter spend anymore unsupervised time with grandma when she found her 8yo daughter in the bathtub with her 65yo mother. What the fuck is a 65yo woman doing bathing with an 8yo??? So grandma calls social services and tells them her daughter is a drunk and she's abusing her granddaughter. In 7 years I've seen her have 3 drinks, not a drunk. Social services shows up at her house, does an inspection, finds 1 old dusty half empty bottle of wine, and takes her child!!?? They then place the child with grandma. 6 weeks later on a surprise inspection, the social worker finds grandma and granddaughter naked in a kiddie pool in the back yard after there was no answer to the front door. Good job social services. At least she got her daughter back the next day. But after 6 weeks of who knows what. Yes, it could have been totally innocent. No one thinks it was and the child was in therapy for reasons unknown to me for 3 years after that. This is the kind of shit that happens when you give control to an uninterested outside party. This is what happens when you try to enforce your beliefs on others. Yes, some children are saved from abuse. However an innocent group is also sucked into the whirlwind of the self righteous cleansing of society and in the process more harm than good is done.
Moderation people, moderation.