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Hi Marshmellofluff
How did the party go?
If I'd found out that someone was going to do that to me, I would have felt similarly to the way you said. I voted for option number 1. However, along with Mr Man, I'd have suggested sucking it in and letting the party happen for strategic reasons. Would I have been able to take my own 'practical advice' if it had been me? I doubt it.
That's part of why I am curious ... if you did , after all, attend your party, there would have been enough of it being done 'under protest' that you expressed in your post.
My 21st had been intended to be a quiet day at home. Two musician friends asked if they could come around to play. That was OK. When they arrived, I mentioned it was my birthday. One of them disappeared and .. came back with Champagne! Suddenly, it was a 'party' ... my birthday was being 'celebrated'. So Yes, there was surprise, though I do not like surprises, but it was an Addition to what I was 'doing anyway', so it was like a lovely present, rather than a threatening 'uprooting'.
I've never been victim to things like surprise parties or those Paid-Stranger-Shame-U-To-Comply-ograms, partly, I suppose, because I express voluble disgust whenever such things are mentioned, and partly because I am lucky. I do know people who 'know' what others' good times and even their entire lives should consist of, and your situation reminded me of some thorns in my own paw.
So I'm wondering, did you go? Did you not go? And what do you reckon now?
And in answer to your question: she might be sensitive, and she might cry, but it seems her sensitivity is one-sided. She was not sensitive to you. Your birthday is over, and if you did attend your ... Her ... party, she might need it spelt out to her, or she might organize things for you again. "I survived the party ... I attended so's not to make a negative fuss, but I most definitely did not appreciate what you did. Never do it again'"
Best wishes
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