It's been a few weeks since this was posted, I wonder how things developed from here.
I know I'm late to this, but would still like to comment on few things:
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haven't tried any sex toys before - know how to self service when needs must...
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Maybe if you got yourself a dildo, you could learn to enjoy masturbation a bit more, so that it wouldn't be a "must" any more.
Also, I have dealt with the smaller size before, and what worked for me best was me being on top. I could then grind against him and get off that way.
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I'm not sure you could ask any man to use a strap on dildo on his girl.
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I have a different experience, some are happy to do it