Originally Posted by chinese crested

She should have told you, and given you the choice to forgive her as it was an accident she fell and impaled herself repeatedly on this chaps member. I am sure you would have had sympathy with her is she had told you she had got tipsy, and half cut suddenly found her knickers round her ankles - you seem the forgiving sort.
Me, I would be ticked off about the betrayal of shagging someone else, but keeping it secret meant lying to you - and that would bother me lots, as it means I would never trust their word again. This message on facebook, was that sent after they had presumably stopped shagging? Given the devastation the contents have wrought..... I take it the message was intimate enough for you to know who and where, but if they are no longer at it, why would they be sending such stuff back and forth. Surely they would have agreed it best they kept their relationship on a professional level. Her lecturer, by the way, had no buisness sleeping with her in the first place.
If I were your mum, I would be worried about where you are. I would probably be hoping you would meet someone honest - because when trust has gone, you will doubt every word as it may well be another lie. Certainly cancel the wedding whilst you have any doubt. At its basic level, it is a contract, and you would not sign any contract if you did not believe what was written surely. I feel you would like to be able to forgive her and trust her. I guess you know the dog best, the dog that has bitten once. It is a problem that must be dealt with, and maybe in dealing with the problem you will be able to decide if it is likely to bite again, and if yours is the most suitable home for such an animal, or if it and you would be better suited if it were re-homed. Trust is earnt - and easily thrown away by some.