The key to me would be how honest she's been
The easiest and first defence when caught in a lie is to offer a partial truth.
(ie - ok, but it only happened once, and I regretted it...)
I am not saying that this is the case here, but I think to move on, you have to be sure you can still trust her. Thats what it comes down to, and when someone breaks your trust, its not always easy to give it to them again.
If you get back together but from now on youre always suspicious and jealous, it will bring you both down.
You shouldnt throw away something you really want based on some macho ideals of "nobody ever cheats on me"... but at the same time, you do have to ask yourself (and she has to ask herself) why wont this happen again?
---------- Post added at 06:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 06:32 PM ----------
Quote:
Originally Posted by Willravel
If she was truly sorry, she wouldn't have needed to be caught to come clean.
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THIS I do not agree with at all.
"Coming clean" has undermined the relationship to the point of probable failure.
*if* it is something that happens once, will never happen again, if you know for sure you still love the guy... why would you throw it all away simply to allow yourself the luxery of clean conscience? I call that the most pure self centredness.
_
I should say that this is a general point, not related to the OP.
When he first asked her what was going on, that was the time to come clean.
To me, lying is worse than cheating. I could forgive someone who wasnt faithful (in fact I have) but I couldnt forgive someone who systematic lied to me in things they knew were important
(obviously the kind of "its the biggest I've ever seen, I'm nervous it will be too much for me..." / "no, you look fantastic" etc type of lies are completely fine)