waitforsugar

You really need to cut contact with this woman. This is not a remotely healthy reaction to rejection and it sounds like the more you see her the worse off you will be.

I'm not trying to minimize your pain but we all get rejected.

She is attached. She's made it clear she doesn't want to be with you. Does your counselor know how extreme these thoughts are? Have you told your psychiatrist the meds aren't helping? They can only go off the information you share with them. Keep trying to get help, it's the only way to find peace. Good luck.