Depression, intense anger and hatred.
I was rejected about 8 months ago. Back then I never questioned her reason for rejecting me.
I was rejected in last September. She got attached with a guy in last November. I find it difficult to forgive her. It was her who hinted to me to woo her yet she rejected me. It has been 8 months and I've sink into depression. A few weeks ago, I asked her angrily if she wanted me to wait for her still and she replied "I don't think so but I don't know if I will regret my choice in the future" .
Recently however, I questioned her and she claims she was unaware of my feelings. She also claimed that I confessed too slow. I felt something was a missed given her answer. I read her past journals where there were obvious hints of her being aware of my feelings. I have a problem of finding it easy to forgive someone who took me for a ride.. A few days ago, I text her regarding my suspicion as to her blog journals and she just said she read my message without refuting any allegation. In this case, then, my suspicion must be right. I am in intense anger, frustrations and depression. I have psychotic thoughts of hoping her experiencing a bad end. I want to continue being friends but yet the negative emotions are preventing me from functioning properly. What should I do?
|