Get yourself to fetlife.com or bondage.com and go to some local lunches. Get to know people, talk to people, get advice and safety tips. Sure, some of them are awkward and you don't really want to be around them, but others are completely normal (for all social intents) and quite educational.
As for rough BJs, the easiest thing to do (while you're getting used to things), is mix his pleasure with pain. Grab sac, twist, squeeze, claw... while going down on him like a regular BJ. Also, teeth scraping down the shaft is simple and can be pretty gentle or rough. Makes things more sensitive. Tiny nips are easy and can leave pretty decent marks.
Other than that, my experience is very limited in giving pain. I really do recommend going to the meet-ups, going to a local dungeon or two to watch how others do their scenes. It's highly educational for the newbie.
And I think it's really good of you to be working with him like this, open to what he's into.
__________________
"You know what? Fuck the moon! He controls our water and our women. I've had enough!"
|