Anything truly important is going to cause some growing pains on both sides - that's just the way life is.
You would have had a chance at compromise if her response had been "you know what, off the bat this freaks me out and I'm not comfortable. But, I know this is important to you so if you can be patient and we can keep discussing it, maybe we can find a place we're both happy".
She's not willing to have that conversation with you. Because of that... bringing it up, period, is going to cause friction.
How long have you guys been together? There's a saying.. when there's trouble in the bedroom it's a sign that there's bigger troubles elsewhere in the relationship. Based on what you have said so far.. I think this might be the case for you too.
Do you really want to be with someone who doesn't want to totally knock your socks off since you'd be willing to do the same for her?
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Calling from deep in the heart, from where the eyes can't see and the ears can't hear, from where the mountain trails end and only love can go... ~~~ Three Rivers Hare Krishna
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