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Midnightskyline · 05-21-2011, 09:10 AM

Thank you all for your inputs, they were/are noted.

Unfortunately they are all now moot points.

Time for an update. So a few days ago I read all your inputs and decided to tell her. This I did, at considerable difficulty. She took it well and I said 'no need to dwell on it now if you don't want to, but I'd like to talk about it a little after you've had some time to think'. All well and good, she agreed.

Last night we went out for a few drinks together and all day and the previous day I'd felt so liberated and relieved; I felt like a burden has been released from my shoulders. Great. That night, having had a few drinks and lost a significant amount of my inhibitions, I asked her 'would you dress up for me?'

She said 'yes I will, but don't bombard me with this'. Didn't really know how to react to that, but at least it was a yes, so I changed the subject and left it that for the time being.

All well and good right? Wrong. I'm writing this on my phone sat on the park having literally walked out of the house without saying I was going. Bit of back story: today I had nothing on the agenda so I thought I'd repay her for being receptive and accommodating, and not dismissing me out of hand. I told her I was going to clean the house. Fast forward an hour or two, and there I am on hands and knees scrubbing the toilet. She comes into the room: 'I'm clearing out my wardrobes, I'm sick of all of my old clothes. I'm throwing away all of my shirts, so you can pick one to keep'.

Whaaaat? How was I supposed to react to that? She said it in such a nasty 'I think you're a dirty perv but because I love you I'm letting you keep one, and you will be grateful for it' kind of way. My initial instinct was anger and maybe even a little bit of fear because I said 'fuck it just chuck them all' in an attempted flippant manner, and she duly did!

So now I have a choice. Walk home and forget it all happened, never mention it again and try to repress these feelings I have. Do I delete all my photos of her wearing shirts? Do I try to wipe the proverbial memory/image bank and try to move on?
Or, do I try to stay true to my emotions? And if so, how, since she has such an issue with this?

She's not sexually repressed, she's not too much of a pride, I just can't understand why?!

WTH?!

I look forward to seeing what you all think as you've given me exceptional advice so far! Please don't just tell me to talk it out with her though because I get the feeling this is now a closed subject. Also, this has knocked my confidence I have in her with this kind of matter so any further conversation about it will be hard, to say the least.

Just thought of something to add, I did make it perfectly clear to her how much it mattered to me, when I first told her.

Thanks.

05-21-2011, 09:10 AM	#12 (permalink)
Midnightskyline Upright	Thank you all for your inputs, they were/are noted. Unfortunately they are all now moot points. Time for an update. So a few days ago I read all your inputs and decided to tell her. This I did, at considerable difficulty. She took it well and I said 'no need to dwell on it now if you don't want to, but I'd like to talk about it a little after you've had some time to think'. All well and good, she agreed. Last night we went out for a few drinks together and all day and the previous day I'd felt so liberated and relieved; I felt like a burden has been released from my shoulders. Great. That night, having had a few drinks and lost a significant amount of my inhibitions, I asked her 'would you dress up for me?' She said 'yes I will, but don't bombard me with this'. Didn't really know how to react to that, but at least it was a yes, so I changed the subject and left it that for the time being. All well and good right? Wrong. I'm writing this on my phone sat on the park having literally walked out of the house without saying I was going. Bit of back story: today I had nothing on the agenda so I thought I'd repay her for being receptive and accommodating, and not dismissing me out of hand. I told her I was going to clean the house. Fast forward an hour or two, and there I am on hands and knees scrubbing the toilet. She comes into the room: 'I'm clearing out my wardrobes, I'm sick of all of my old clothes. I'm throwing away all of my shirts, so you can pick one to keep'. Whaaaat? How was I supposed to react to that? She said it in such a nasty 'I think you're a dirty perv but because I love you I'm letting you keep one, and you will be grateful for it' kind of way. My initial instinct was anger and maybe even a little bit of fear because I said 'fuck it just chuck them all' in an attempted flippant manner, and she duly did! So now I have a choice. Walk home and forget it all happened, never mention it again and try to repress these feelings I have. Do I delete all my photos of her wearing shirts? Do I try to wipe the proverbial memory/image bank and try to move on? Or, do I try to stay true to my emotions? And if so, how, since she has such an issue with this? She's not sexually repressed, she's not too much of a pride, I just can't understand why?! WTH?! I look forward to seeing what you all think as you've given me exceptional advice so far! Please don't just tell me to talk it out with her though because I get the feeling this is now a closed subject. Also, this has knocked my confidence I have in her with this kind of matter so any further conversation about it will be hard, to say the least. Just thought of something to add, I did make it perfectly clear to her how much it mattered to me, when I first told her. Thanks.