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Parents should not hit their kids. There's absolutely no reason for doing so.
Hitting a child is merely an adult's expression of anger. It teaches the child that the parent is angry, but doesn't teach the respect that many parents believe that it does. If you have a fight with your s/o, do you hit them when you're angry?
Sure, many of us who were hit/spanked as children ended up becoming decent human beings, but at what cost? If there were any stats about child rearing methods and years in therapy, I'm sure the child subject to this "minor" violence wins hands down.
The key to disciplining a young kid is keeping negatives to a minimum. I totally understand the frustration of saying "no" 24/7, but the fact that it doesn't work and that one feels they have to smack the kid for not listening should make it crystal clear. Constant "no"'s mean nothing. Praise them when they do the right thing and they will do whatever it takes to keep their parent(s) happy, as long as they're being loved.
It may sound idealistic, but it works. Really.
And dlish, you brought up a good point. The parents must ALWAYS back one another for good parenting.
And, just so ya know, I was one of those who was face-slapped by my mother and bare-ass belted by my father. I was such a good girl in public, wasn't I raised so well? When I was 16, my mother told me to put on my shoes and I kept walking away barefoot. She repeated the demand again, I said "no", she backhanded me across my face and, for the first time in my life, I smacked her back. She fell on the ground.
I'm not proud, but I was human. Sometimes, in life, there's backlash. Peace, love, rock and roll. Life is short and love is definitely the way to go.
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We are always more anxious to be distinguished for a talent which we do not possess, than to be praised for the fifteen which we do possess.
Mark Twain
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