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For me it is difficult. I have a self opinion that can swing quite wildly, I think I always half suspect that people who I think are friendly/neutral really dont like me, are laughing at me behind my back, etc. I guess we all have that nagging voice at the back of our heads that keeps telling us "no one really cares, they all think you're a prick" - but sometimes you have circumstances in your life that make it harder to ignore. Up until I was about 22 I was actually a fairly confident person with normal self esteem. I dont really know what changed in me... but since then I have put on over 100 lbs, become quite a lonely person, prone to bad moods, anxious in social situations, etc. There are still many times I am perfectly happy and can be sociable and friendly, but I also have a lot of black moods now that I dont remember having as a kid.
In the last 4 weeks I got upset about 4 or 5 people on this site stating they didnt like me (in a thread that I presume got moved to the Members Playground which I no longer have access to) and deleted everything I could find which I could delete here and then stopped posting. Today some girl I'm not even that close with on Facebook unfriended me, and I just spent the last two hours deleting every friend and photo from my FB. I cant rationally justify why I react this way. Clearly I'm cutting my nose off to spite my face and I know I am and I cant even give a reason why. I suppose perhaps its some kind of proxy for real self harm, or maybe I'm just emotionally still adolescent... but both of those seem stupid explanations really.
It is possible to take on board something positive even from negative comments people make about you, but for me I dont know if its emotionally possible, because my first reaction tends to be to write off a relationship, to walk out of a situation, etc. I dont think its a good way to be. There are at least three or four people I was close friends (two I at least felt I was on love with) with that I stopped talking with over probably stupid misunderstandings. I never even had it out with any of them, just would stop communicating with them and by the time I had finished sulking, there was nothing left between us.
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