drcdragon

So I know this is an old forum, and actually I would never see myself posting on a forum like this until something happened to me just 1 hour ago and I wanted to feel like I needed to talk or be reassured by someone other than my friends who have never experienced something like me. So I am Taiwanese and I am born and raised in America. My parents are super old school and have very strict culture. They are overprotected and have paid for me for all my schooling. I am post doc btw and graduating in few months. They told me to break up with my girlfriend 1 year ago because they didn't accept her. I believe mainly because she is on 250k of loans (she is also a doctor but she is working now to pay off her loans), but also because she is not in their view subservient and Taiwanese, she is Hongkong American. Anyways I had to tell them that she was living with me and decided that I should now because that they will find out when they come to my graduation and that would probably be a worse situation. Anyways I don't know if anyone knows how bad asian parents are but they yell and repeat themselves and make you feel like shit, plus they never say they are sorry or I love you. They feel if you are their son that you must follow everything they say or you are banished from their family. Well I knew they were gonna be pissed and probably not give me anymore of their money, plus they will say I lied for a year and that my girl is controlling me and I am no longer part of the family. So my best friend who happens to be gay (I am not) but he is asian and said that though he told them he was gay they said all that shit and after few years they mellow out and talk to you but still repeat themselves and try to say you made the wrong choice or decision. So he reassured me that no matter what you have to make your own choices because most likely they will not approve unless you ask them to approve of that decision first. Well I told them and they said exactly what I expected them to say plus extra mean things like I am stupid and I am not their son (funny thing is that they always say to their friends that I am their prized son who went post doc). So I am finding a job now and getting a new apartment and my girfriend will support us for a few months. I think in the end everything will be ok and later on they will love you still and want to see your grandchildren. But you are your own person and if you really want to do something you really should. I went into postdoc because of my parents btw, I wanted to be an artist (they said no to that). I feel a great load off my shoulder and super independent. Plus my girlfriend who I plans to marry loves me extra now. This is the right choice and you need to do it sooner or later. I agree this culture gap is a problem in our society especially with asians, but we have to stick together because you cannot let them dictate your life. When you are 80 you want to say I chose my life and not anyone else and I do not regret the choices I made. Thanks and peace.